Forgiveness
by OfPearlsAndShoelaces
Summary: I know I have no right to be feeling this way, and it sickens me all the more. Because at this moment, I realize that I still love her, even though I'd told myself otherwise for years now. I want to spare myself the pain of seeing her happy, with him, but I look up into her clear gray eyes, and she gives me a slight smile. Gale goes to apologize to Katniss. Post-Mockingjay.


**Gale**

I step off the train and draw in a deep breath, the familiar scent of coal still in the air, and take in my surroundings. It's my home, my old home, and though it was destroyed in the bombings and has been built up since, it's still the same old District 12. Trees and mountains still surround the place, though the fence is gone, and I remember another lifetime in which I dreamt of escaping to those mountains to live a free life in the wild.

I turn away from the scenery and begin to walk through town. I feel a punch in my gut as I step into the village square, the place where I sometimes wish I had died during the whipping. I would have been spared so much pain if only I could have gone then. I feel another punch as I pass the bakery, lights glowing inside, and the scent of fresh bread in the air. No blonde baker boy, though. Not that I expected him to be here. The war damaged him too, and I take a sick sort of comfort in that knowledge.

I make my way to the Victor's Village, where I instinctively know she'll be living, most likely to keep an eye on Haymitch. I don't know what I'll say to her. _I'm sorry_ doesn't seem appropriate. It's not enough; it doesn't portray the depth of the guilt I feel over murdering her sister and countless others. I know she hasn't forgiven me, and probably never will, but I still have to see that she's okay.

I reach her front door, noting the primrose bush on the side of the house. It makes me feel even worse than before. I stand there for a moment, hand poised to knock, when something catches my eye. Through the window, I see a little girl, two dark brown braids bouncing against her back, running into the room and flinging herself onto the couch. The blonde man that chases after her, laughing, can only be Peeta. He scoops the giggling girl up into his arms and covers her in kisses.

My hand falls back to my side in shock. I never thought he'd come back here, never thought he'd heal from the Capitol's torture. But of course he did. _Of course_ he came back for her. He was always there for her when I wasn't. _I guess true love really does conquer all,_ I think spitefully. I turn and hurry down the front steps, feeling nauseous and angry and wanting to do nothing but get out of this hateful place.

But then I hear the voice behind me, that even after all these years, I could never forget.

"Gale?" she calls. I consider continuing to walk away, but I'm not strong enough and I have to turn around, see her one last time. Katniss is standing in the doorway of the house, and she looks almost exactly as I remember her-scarred, but beautiful, her long, dark hair in her trademark braid. But the large, protruding belly was not there before. It makes me feel sick all over again and I can't keep my brain from imagining her and Peeta _together_. He had tried to kill her. I didn't think they could get past that. But they had. At least twice, anyway.

I know I have no right to be feeling this way, and it sickens me all the more. Because at this moment, I realize that I still love her, even though I'd told myself otherwise for years now. I told myself that I'd made this trip so that I could make sure she was okay; and that was true, in a way. I do want her to be okay, but at the same time, I hoped deep down that we might have one last, miniscule chance to forgive and be together.

With these thoughts on my mind, I want to turn back around and continue walking to spare myself the pain of seeing her happy, with _him_, but my feet carry me forward until I reach the bottom of the porch steps. I look up into her clear gray eyes, and she gives me a slight smile.

"I thought I recognized you," she says.

"I was in the neighborhood," I say gruffly. I've never been good with emotions, but Katniss knows that. To this day, she still knows me better than anyone else in the world.

She steps aside and gestures into the cavernous house, "Would you like to come in?" Somewhere behind her, I hear shouts of "Tickle monster! Rahhhh!" and the subsequent giggles and squeals of the little girl as she plays with her father, oblivious to the sad, broken man standing just outside their sunny little world.

I shake my head. "No, I just… had to see you. I wanted you to know that I'm sorry." The words still don't feel like enough, but I hope she understands that they're all I can give, that there's nothing else to say. She doesn't say anything back, and after a few moments of silence between us it solidifies in my mind that she never will forgive me. _And why should she? I ruined her life. _

"She's beautiful, by the way. And congratulations," I say, gesturing to her round stomach before turning my back on the girl I still love. Another moment of silence as I head down the path, and then,

"I forgave you a long time ago, Gale," Katniss says, and I glance back in time to see her give me a small, mournful smile before she closes the door.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading my little one-shot! I know it's pretty angsty, but I'm a Galone shipper. (Gale/forever alone) I just think the war damaged him too much, and he didn't have anyone like Peeta to help him heal. I also haven't forgiven him for killing Prim, so in my twisted little mind I kind of want him to suffer. Reviews make my day. :)


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